Friday, 12 November 2010

Toys 4 Big Boys (yeah right!)

What would you think if you heard a show with the above name was going to be on this weekend?  Would words like Gadgets, Gizmos, Cars, Home Entertainment Systems, Xbox, PlayStation all flash through you mind?  I know they did mine.

With thoughts like these going through my mind, I purchased two tickets for Toys 4 Big Boys.  Myself and my business partner arrived at the RDS, for that is where this exhibition is, at 12:36. I know this, because that is the time on the parking ticket. We were back at the car by 13:30. 

In under one hour we had the 1/4 mile to the RDS, walked around the show, seen everything there was to see, some of it twice (by accident) and walked the 1/4 mile back to the car.  I think that really sums up just how shite the show was.

wtf

So, what was there I hear you ask.  Well sit back, relax and I will tell you.  I could get a facial, I could get one of 3 Spinologists to look at my back, I could buy 1 big slipper for two feet, I could buy some makeup and from the same person I could also buy some teeth whitener!!  Sounds good so far, just what every Big Boy wants! 

If you were hungry, you could buy that all time favourite mans treat of Chocolate covered Strawberries and Marshmallows, how wonderful…..

We sauntered on in to the live area where a band were playing to a massive audience.  I have no idea who the band was, it may have been Podge, not sure, but as you can see by the pic, they played to a full house.

2010-11-12 13.20.58

To be fair, there was some level of gadgetry going on….  There were plenty or Remote Control Helicopters to be had and the boy racer crew were well looked after with regards to car parts.  There were some pool tables, one old Atari Space Invaders Coin Op just sitting there in a roped off area.  If I had the urge, I could have bought some tools to sit on my work bench too.  Oh and there was a Time Machine also!!!

2010-11-12 12.54.36

Surely I must be forgetting something….. Let me think long and hard….. Oh yes, one stand was selling the Carl Zeiss Cinemizer 3D Plus glasses. These glasses did indeed display a floating 3D image in front of my eyes, but the screen res was only 640x480 and you could see each pixel… It was a tad distracting and at €299, they were very over priced.

What struck me as most strange though was that there was no Microsoft pushing their Kinect accessory for the Xbox 360. No Sony with any of their home entertainment or PlayStation gear, no Philips with their 21:9 displays, no Game or GameStop pushing their wares. Very strange, very strange indeed.

OK, so as you may have gathered, I was far from impressed with the show. I paid €12 per ticket for this abomination.  The only people who deserve any praise for Toys 4 Big Boys are Becks and Pot Noodle.  Becks hired some rather stunning young ladies, put them in micro mini skirts and had them parade around with free beer.  Pot Noodle had the Pot Noodle Siren(s), a couple of attractive blonde ladies not wearing all that much and handing out free Pot Noodles. 

Well done Becks and Pot Noodle, I’m glad you at least seemed to understand what the show should be about. Oh and no, no I did not take a picture of said ladies.

No toys

Toys 4 Big Boys 2010?  More like No Toys 4 Big Boys! Load of shite, I won’t be back!

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